She lied down.
Three pillows, a cozy blanket and a picture.
She wanted to not get that picture with her. It would make her restless. She would stare at that picture for hours together and think about how the guy in the picture turned out to be a memory. She was not missing him. She needed him. She couldn’t really get over the fact that there was nothing left between them anymore. A bitter truth.
She kept rewinding her moments with him. She would slip slowly into the blanket and cry a river and then pretend that everything is okay. Who would like people to see her as a pathetic, broken-up girl? I could see every single piece of her heart shredding into tiny bits and I would wonder how very strong a soul she is to put up a facade of strength after all this? More than she needed the relationship, she needed him by her side. She missed the conversations. She missed her smile which was gone with his phone calls. She missed how she jumped off the bed and ran to talk to him, how she would make plans for his birthday, how she would think about him every single moment of the day and about the lovely words they must have exchanged. She had to veil her urge to share little stuffs with him.
But now that he was gone, there was nothing she could do except staring at his picture. She would hold the picture close to her heart and cry herself to sleep. Rarely, smile.
But dear, it’s not always about the person you are with. Sometimes, it’s about the attachment you have with them. Sometimes, you don’t need anything at all to miss them. It’s the little things. It’s about how they made you feel, it’s about how they how they made you laugh, it’s about the little things you did with them and the fact that they are gone and you are never gonna relive the moment again…that realisation is the toughest form of letting go. So, maybe you will never be able to be the same person again, maybe there’s never going to be another sunrise with the same person but you are gonna buckle up and smile. Because, you don’t get to be the same person ever again but you, sure as hell, are not going to let yourself be a worse version of what you were already. Take your time. Take care. But promise me, you’ll get better. Okay?