Of Longings And Sundered Love

The day was warm but she was particularly edgy. She had picked up the phone a few minutes ago yet the blood in her vessels rushed with the highest speed. Her serenity seemed lost in the woods of anxiety. She was in a dilemma. What was she supposed to do? Welcome her with a warm hug or just smile and wave? Was she supposed to ask for tea or just serve chilled water? She had no idea at all. Probably, she is not so fond of her. Who would adore a woman like her? She finally sat down, with a quivering arthritic leg. Her hands went numb and cold. She could feel it. She was not nervous anymore. She was afraid. What if she succeeds in framing a tainted impression in her mind? What if she says something wrong? What if all this just turns out to be some formal arrangement?

She decided to calm herself down. A smooth breeze blew her dry strands of her hair. She could feel it. How could she not? She perfectly remembered the last time she saw her. She remembered how close they were and how she could feel her heart beat. That almost felt like heaven. She never wanted to let go.

Knock on the door. She took a deep breath and walked with brisk steps to open the door. She unbolted the door and there they stood. Both of them took a gulp long enough to give them the time to absorb each other’s vivid images perfectly. She welcomed her in with utmost gentleness.The young girl smiled and walked in.

“Coffee? Tea? Anything else? What should I get you?”, she knew she had to actually calm down.

“I’ll have tea. Thank you.”

“Okay. Have a seat. I’ll be right back.”

The visitor made herself comfortable. She looked around. There were no photographs. Only paintings. Abstract and modern. She could see laminated certificates and a boring, old clock. A beautiful flower vase on the right corner of the room filled with lovely, white flowers. The place was well-maintained. She was unsure of the fact that whether the place always looked like it did that day. She stood up to stroll around a bit. Nothing special at all. Oh, well, there she could see a cemented photo frame placed backwards on the wooden table. She turned the framed memory and she saw a baby. A tiny, little creation of flesh and blood. Something pricked her hard. That was her.

With tears in her eyes, she placed it exactly where it was. The lady returned with a cup of tea.

“You have a nice home”.

“Well, I would just call it a place to live in. It’s no home without family”.

The young girl smiled.

The lady shot a glance at her and recollected memories. They were few but she did. Then she couldn’t hold back anymore. “The first time I held you in my arms, I knew I would have to give you up. Not just for my sake, but for your greater good. You deserved a family, real parents and not just a place to live in but an actual home. I know you’re not here to listen to the story of a helpless, pathetic mother who had to give away her own baby but I think you deserve to know that you are a beautiful girl and you were not given away because you were unwanted but because you deserved to be wanted more. I know you’d rather to have lived with me and led a shabby life rather than live with someone else but I am a mother and I would do anything to give you what you were entitled to even if it means stabbing myself in the heart every single moment. So, daughter, I urge you to forgive me”.

The heavens were in their perfect shape. The Gods smiled and witnessed the beautiful reunion of love. Love that could never perish. No amount of hatred or distance or time could win against the love that the mother carried in her heart.
The old, boring clock was the sole witness of the long nights she had spent wanting her child and regretting to have given her up.

The daughter smiled gently. She came closer and clasped her hands. They were cold and shaky. “Mother, I know exactly how you feel. While you were deciding to give away your daughter, a little baby in your arms was losing a mother as well. She knows exactly how you feel”.

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