Nobody was allowed to step foot in her world. She was headstrong to not let anybody in. No falling in love. No worrying about looking good. No pulling an all-nighter just to talk to somebody. She had planned everything and set everything right. She was such a baby at heart. She would hear about the on and off relationships and speak to herself with a tinge of pride, ” When I fall in love with someone, he’s going to love me back and we will have a lovely life together till we breath our last”.
She stumbled and fell into the trap. But it won’t be really correct if I call it as a trap. She fell in love. She finally found a reason to dress up well to school and not look like a homeless person. She didn’t find lending her notebooks bothering at all even though she had to go through punishment. She passed his classroom like a hundred times a day just to see what he was doing. And during the recess, when their eyes met accidentally, her heart skipped a beat.
With all the courage she could muster, when she did confess, she was taken aback. She could see her world falling apart. She started scouring for reasons to smile but his unforgettable face blocked her view. Every single time. She would give herself wise words but would end up in bed, twisting and turning and crying herself to sleep.
Even today, when I see her now and then, I can still see her sore eyes longing for him. She would sit alone, watch the heavens pouring rhythmically. It seemed as if they wanted to mourn with her. She would talk to nobody and think about nothing else. Her favourite passtime was rewinding their little thing they had. She would sing to herself and switch channels. Once in a while, she would watch some romantic movies and analyse the characters. She lacked clarity, though. She couldn’t see where she was heading. What was she supposed to do with her life? She could never fall in love again. She could never smile the way she used to again. She could never be excited about anything. No matter how much she convinced herself of the fact that she was doing fine, she knew her world has fallen apart.