Of Yearnings and Disturbed Relationships

He was the only son in his family. A family blessed with goddesses. He was the sole caretaker of his family. The only one to take his lineage forward. Well, his family had always wanted a son and there he was, like after four daughters. He always held him responsible for the well-being of his family. Well, why wouldn’t he? It seemed as if he was born for the same.

He used to carry out errands. Not just the petty ones, but the actual adult stuff. He used to visit banks, take care of the passbooks, pay bills, take care of the electrics of the house, buy his sisters copies and pen, ride his mother to the grocery shop and the list just goes on increasing in length with the passing days.

He was only 14. He knew it was no big deal. A part of him had established peace with the fact that he is meant to bear the responsibilities of his family. Well, on an extra point of view, was it fair to him? Sometimes, his mind would wander through the dark tunnels of questions that remain unanswered. His father never gave him a pat on his back. His mother was chained to the shackles of busy chores of the house. She was basically, a typical mother. Or should I say, more of a wife? He would ask himself whether it’s right to take away his childhood just like that. Nothing was ever enough for his father. He would never give him a good word. Never let him know how very proud he was for having a son like him. Everybody seemed like a burden to him. That hurt him.

Sometimes, he would choose a lonely place. He would sit there for hours and look at the vast, blue sky. Look at the clouds merrily swatting away, the birds soaring high, the green trees waving themselves with utmost ecstasy. He would gaze at them and forget about his entangled life for a few seconds. Then, it would all overcome his blessed soul. He would feel a heavy weight on his heart. Something would prick him. He would wish his father would call him closer. He would know he had not done anything big but he yearned for something, maybe a word of appreciation or two Then, he would repeat these words to himself. Like, it was included in the long list of jobs he had to do everyday.

“You know it. That you’ve not done that big a thing. You know that you’ve just wiped the dust off the table. You know that you’re not that open. You know that you’re a good person, not selfish at all. You know you’re doing it because you want to and you like to. You don’t need people to hover around you like bees over flowers. You don’t want to become the cynosure of the podium. You don’t want a medal or a certificate. You’ve never even given it a thought. You know it’s just enough to be a good person. Nothing else matters as long as you have a heart of gold. But sometimes, you just wanna know that the world knows that you know it. You just wish everyone knew it, the kind of person you are from within. Sometimes, just sometimes, a word of appreciation is all you crave for.”

Then, he would get up and remember that he had to pick his sister up from school. He would go back to leading his monotonous life.

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One thought on “Of Yearnings and Disturbed Relationships”

  1. Aww… something about this sounds so sad. Though in the Filipino culture, kids who carry their ‘rents yoke are always lauded. In my cynicism, I always saw it as a type of lack or a deviation from our ideals on parents’ role.

    Liked by 1 person

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