Of Knowing My Life In Ten Tags

1. I want to become a writer. But I don’t have a story. I don’t have the entire oh-my-god-that-is-going-to-be-the-next-bestseller plot with me. So far, I’ve faced 3 rejections and I know that there are many more to come. What saddens me is the fact that among perfections of character building and grammar, some have forgotten to find the story in the story.
I have a habit of creating memories about every other person I encounter. Even with the briefest encounters, I find every person to be truly interesting. And no matter how much wrong they have done, I believe that there’s a person inside them who is good and is waiting for his/her chance to shine.

2. I love train rides. I love the way the ground seems to be jerking underneath, even after I’ve stepped out of the train. Often, I look forward to longer journeys in air-conditioned compartments, minus noisy kids. I think about grabbing my phone or laptop and writing about something, but Mom keeps shooting me angry glares at frequent intervals, which is pretty disturbing. So, all I end up doing is lazing around for hours, feeling the leather carve against my cheeks and waiting for tunnels.

3. When I was ten or eleven, I wanted to have a Doctorate degree in English literature from the prestigious Oxford University. I had a knack for drawing and at twelve, I decided I was going to become an animation designer. At fifteen, I planed on becoming a doctor after having watched a few seasons of Grey’s Anatomy. And here I am, eighteen, and common sense has been slapped into me – what is in the TV, stays in the TV!
Till this moment, I’m clueless if sitting inside a cabin, 10*7, is what I really want to do with my life.

4. I have a Plan-B, but I don’t see the first steps for the staircase. Somewhere, in a crazy corner of my brain, I wish to inspire people. I wish to write something that will make them cry in joy. For now, I think I’m pretty young.

5. I think horror movies are romantic. I don’t understand why people don’t have horror movie dates! Though I agree that the best way to torture me would be to ask me to watch a horror movie, I find the fear, rather enthralling. For once, amidst the screams and shivers and darkness, something feels real!
I don’t understand why some people absolutely hate horror movies and tell that those are the scariest things in the universe. I believe, life is scarier.

6. My brother’s name is Joy and he forms most of my life.

7. I believe in God. But I do not understand Him. I do not understand why in a world so beautiful as ours, people are still in pain.
When Mom asks me to stand in front of Him and pray at a particular time, I ask her, why? Why do we have to remember Him only a particular time? I tell her that I’ve told my prayers throughout the day. He is around me and He provides me strength. Although I do not voice out everything aloud, I know that He knows all of them.

8. I’m having a hard time figuring out two other interesting points about my life!

9. Theya Catalan is basically my pen name. I go by the name “Akanksha” (pronounced: anyway-you-like-it) which means hope and aspirations and wishes, or that is what my mum tells me!

10. The Diwali of 2013 happened to be one of the most painful ones for me. I met this little boy who was an orphan and he had been lingering on the road, secretly watching us burst those crackers and shout in merry. Dad happened to spot him and called him to join us. I will never forget the glimmer of happiness in his eyes. I will never forget the way he smiled when he held those crackers in his hands and lit them with us. When it was time to leave, I gathered some packets of the left crackers and gave it to him. When his eyes lit up with unparalleled joy, I asked him to wait awhile so that I could run into the house and grab some more crackers.
By the time I returned, he had already left. I waited for long, in the chill of the winter night, thinking he would come back, but he never did.
He taught me a very important lesson that night that, don’t make people wait; for they’ll leave.
I’ll write more about him some day.